Hurricane

I called my mom a couple days ago, and she warned me about this hurricane that was coming to Daytona call Irene. I have to admit part of me was glad she was coming, because then I would have a reason to sit at home and look out the window. A day later DC was hit with the earthquake. It rocked me a little because I was just there. I'm not someone who makes everything about himself, but I have to wonder why God is avoiding me with these events. Then I see on the news that Irene is going to miss Daytona, and hit where else, but DC.

I was told that you'll find the most resistance when you are right in line with God. I feel like God is avoiding me now. Maybe I chose wrong. I'm stuck in this hurricane of a life filled with unsuccessful endeavors and fakeness; that I wonder if I'm even in God's plan anymore. I'm at the end of my rope here, I'm trying to find out if what I'm doing is right, and the only thing I can do now is set goals to achieve. I sleep on a couch bed and pay rent. I barely eat, I can barely get by on bills. I was expecting this so why am I crying about it so much? I love it here, but is it the people here that I don't love? I think if I didn't have to deal with the people I deal with, that I wouldn't be this stuck.

My hurricane isn't the fact that I'm moving in circles; because I'm not. My hurricane is these people who see fit to take advantage of someone asking for help. The upside to this is now that, I will not rely on them, or look for them to be my friend. The downside is that I need them. So what do I do? I have no one else here but God. God you are all I have. I need you to be my anchor, and my sail. Help me through this hurricane of a life. I can no longer walk this path, because I'm lost in it. Help me.